How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Let's get the cat blown out
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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