escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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