About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
