The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
