New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
