i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
