He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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