You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
