Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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