it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
