Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize