My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
