but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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