no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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