trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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