I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
