It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
