She is in my trunk
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
