It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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