I think I just saw someone hide a body.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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