I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
