Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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