did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize