...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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