Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
