remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have so many feelings about this burrito
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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