We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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