i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
