so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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