Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
