I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
