sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
