She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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