I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
