I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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