Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize