Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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