would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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