Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
