I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
