is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
