He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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