He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
