I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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