there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
