Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
