Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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