Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
