i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
