I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
