We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm at about main and main street
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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