maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
