Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
