Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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