I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
