From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
