I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
