apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize