Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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